First off, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! Secondly, I haven't written a blog in...well...almost a year, and it's time I get back to it! My good friend, Stacie Lopeman, gives Kindermusik classes and she asked for my help with a blog she was writing. Which made me realize how horribly I've been neglecting my own blog. So I'm back!
I've had some parents lately ask me how I get their child to do certain things without the child screaming, throwing a fit, or simply not doing as their asked. In one particular case the parents came home and were rather incredulous to see that I had fed their child, given her a bath, and she were sound asleep when Mom and Dad got home. It seems that they have A LOT of trouble with the evening routine. The parents seem to think that I have some sort of magical powers. I told them I started the evening with her by letting her know what we were going to be doing. She was a bit hesitant at first (this was my first time watching her), but she soon warmed up and we got along quite well. By letting her know what to expect, she was much more willing to go along with what we needed to accomplish. I let her make some of the decisions, but kept on the schedule I laid out in the first place and things went fairly easily.
Now I know that children are typically MUCH better for babysitter's and friends than they typically are for their parents. That's just how it goes. But I reminded the incredulous parents that THEY are the grown-ups. THEY make (and unfortunately enforce) the rules. No one wants to live in a house ruled by a 4 year old...well, it could be fun and you'd probably be able to eat ice cream whenever you wanted, but after a few days there would be no clean laundry and everyone would have tummy aches from all the candy and sweets they had eaten. Give the child 2 options. Most kids (especially younger ones) will be overwhelmed with too many choices. Tell them they can have option 1 or option 2 for dinner; they can have dinner now or in 5 minutes; we can do x first or we can do y first. Try not to leave options open. For example, asking little Timmy what he'd like for dinner is typically too broad. Giving him a few choices will most likely work out better. You can have lots of fun with your kids and create a ton of loving memories while establishing some respect and order. Lastly, create a family schedule and post it where everyone can see it. This not only helps remind family members of appointments, bed times, etc, it also helps babysitters in case we forget to ask what time Sally needs her medication or how much TV/computer time your child gets. Kids function best with schedules. Sometimes getting on that schedule is difficult, but once you've done it, your family (and your sanity) will be better for it!
